Last night I had a vision. In this vision the One True God spoke to me and revealed His plan. His name is the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) and He is really and truly the one true God. All the others have been man-made constructs and shouldn't be believed in. He felt that since the world's population is quickly approaching nine billion people, that it was time for the record to be set straight. I wondered why FSM appeared as masculine, but then thought about a female FSM and got totally grossed out so I didn't question it further. God told me to spread the word about Him and His Name (FSM) and that all people should reject their current religious beliefs and begin following the teachings of FSM. Those teachings will be in the form of a divinely inspired book which I will soon write that tells the real story of God and Man; how God loves pizza and that when you drink Chianti and thinking about Him, you are actually drinking the blood of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - but only at those moment that you are thinking of Him. The rest of the time, it's just plain wine and you're just plain getting drunk. I asked this God about His curious name, Flying Spaghetti Monster, and he firmly replied that someone on Earth decided to give Him that moniker and it just stuck (sort of how spaghetti sticks to the ceiling when you throw it up to see if it's done). So that's what it is, like it or not. In my next vision from the exalted FSM, He will reveal to me what to write in my book. When the book is completed, it will be on sale for $19.95 from Amazon.com with Kindle and AudioBook formats available soon after.